I haven't abandoned you! See I have a video to prove it!

How does that happen!?! One minuite your typing along, the next it's almost been a month since your last blog!

I'll tell you how it happens. You get busy, and then you get sick, and then you get, prematurely, to the "it's complicated" place in a relationship, and then you wake up one morning and a month has passed. In short: Life happened. Life happened and I wasn't disciplined enough to update you on it's happening.

I played a bunch of shows. I had my shortest romantic whatever to date. I bought a pocket camcorder because I felt you deserved video here at the Leaping project and then randomly started recording my friends. Below, my assistant shares her theory on why work sucks so very very much.

What is your job like? How long are you planning on staying with it? Have you ever considered working independently?

Authentic Play

This last week, I was provided with some amazing opportunities to learn more about myself, spend some time with amazing people, and build yet more momentum for 2010.

Sometimes opportunities arise that are just too cool to bypass, and the Release/Renew workshop put on by Andrea of Alinga Bodywork and Molly of Stratejoy was one such opportunity. I had already scheduled a drink date with my lady K. , but when I found out about the free workshop on twitter I just knew that it would be a far more interesting girls night then our occasional stout and shout. If you want to read more about what took place at the workshop there are blog posts at both of their websites detailing it.

The big goal of the evening was to release all the blockages that we had aquired in the past year so that we could make room for the new possibilities of 2010 by coming up with a theme. I can't remember the exact words that Molly used to describe a theme, but the idea is it's the energy that you want infuse your life with. What are you going to intentionally manifest in your life day by day however you can. So, after some writing, some giddy energy, some great brainstorming of powerful words, and a discussion with my pink haired future self, I decided 2010 is the year of authentic play. That is, I want to speak my truths, celebrate my successes, and overpower your computer screens with the sheer amount of awesome that I am bringing into my day to day.

How do I plan on cultivating all this awesome, you ask? Why through and Aunthentic Play makeover, ofcourse. Starting with making the adjustments to my day to day existance that are true to my needs, genuinely reinvesting and celebrating with my friends, falling in love with music again, creating a sustainable spiritual practice, reading whatever I want, meditating, imagining, making murals and art, painting my nails purple, getting rid of everything I never wear and filling my closet with clothes I love, getting furniture for my room and finally making it feel like home and taking six months to date myself.


What energy would you like to see more of in 2010? How are you going to bring it into your life?

2010: The Year I Become a Rock Star

With the New Year opening fresh and filled with opportunities, it seems the perfect time to participate in Ariel Hyatt's Cyber PR blog contest. Don't worry loyal readers, this isn't going to be a boring anallysis of theory and a long list of my accomplishments, this is an opportunity to give you insight into the process that I'm undergoing as I continue to push myself towards greater and greater music success.

The book starts out with creating the propper mental space for the upcoming weeks by creating goals and developing habits to fuel continued progress. As one of the habit's Ariel encourages is writing down seven accomplishments for each day I thought it would be fun to share with you my seven accompishments for 2009.

First of all, I recorded a full length album. I had always dreamed of doing that, and it finally happened this year.

Second of all, I raised the money to duplicate that album on Kickstarter.com.

Third: I actually got the artwork (provided by my friend Andrea K.), masters, ect sent and and have a beauitful product that I am proud of.

Third: I put up this website that you are on right now.

Fourth: I've recieved some notice in Seattle blog Earcandybeat.com and in Tacoma's Spew.com

Fifth: I sent in my music to CD Baby and it will soon be availible for purchase all over the internet.

Sixth: I threw a well atended album release party.

and finally Seventh: I joined Taxi and submitted two of my songs to a listing. I should be hearing back some time towards the end of this month or the begining of January.

I've come a long way, especially considering that I wasn't even making my own music at this time last year. There is still a long way to go before I am living off of my music, but I'm much closer to my goal then if I had never stared at all. No matter what your goals in life are, if I have learned anything from the last year it's that everything involves a certain amount of challenge. You can either psych yourself out and give up before you've begun, or you can give it a shot and see what happens.

The next part of the first chapter focuses on goal setting. A few of my big ones for 2010 are:

January 3oth,2010: I have sent out CD's and one pages to local independent and collage radio stations within my region.

Febuary 10, 2010: I have T-shirts, sweatshirts, and Totes availible for purchase on my website.

March 22, 2010: I turn 24 and one of my songs has been selected as part of the sound track for a feature film. Happy Birthday to me.

April 22-24: I attend the I Create Music Expo in L.A.

May 10,2010: My website is recieving 100 hits a day. I am booking a fall tour for my region. ( Oh, and I have my license and a car)

September 10, 2010: I set out on my PCN tour, with a brief trip to Michigan to visit former End Times band mate Fred and his awesome wife Lori.

December 10, 2010: I begin compiling songs written on my tour for a new album.


I've accomplished quite a few of the goals that I had set for myself this December, and even accomplished some things I had written down for next year. Still, even though I am progressing quickly there are some things that didn't get done this last month, and I find it's helpful to examine why. No blame, no shame, just what do I need in order to get those things done.

The biggest wall I've been hitting is finishing up the rewards for my Kickstarter contributers. I finally found a local artist who will make the t-shirts for me, but her ink froze and it will be a few more weeks until I can pick those up. I have a friend who knows how to do book binding, but I keep procrastinating on the grunt work of writing out my lyrics and/or finding them on my harddrive. I have a great list of things to work for this year, but I'm going to feel this looming over me until it finally gets done.

Do you have any ideas on the best way to get the merch made? Have you been in a situation where one big task just doesn't seem to get done? What are the road blocks you've run into as you strive to self actualize your dream?

Drivers wanted.

Do you remember those old VW adds? On the road to life, there are passengers and there are drivers.... those ones? Well unfortunately I have spent much of my life being a passenger.

It's not surprising. I mean, think about YOUR childhood, how often were you told that there are times when it's better NOT to follow the rules, do what your parents tell you, or even what is considered societally responsible. For a pleaser type personality like myself, it's been the challenge of my early 20's to finally choose for myself, even if those choices may disappoint, frustrate, or frighten the people who have always been the guiding lights of my life. However, at some point you have to stop going from light house to light house and start following your true north.

Philosophical thoughts aside, I've also very literally been a passenger. At 23, I don't have my drivers license. People's reactions to this very from mild surprise to pity. Getting your license, and thus gaining the freedom to go where ever you want to, is a major part of coming of age in America. This is especially true when you grow up in a small town in eastern Washington where traffic is pretty much non-existant and there isn't any public transportation.

So here I am, 23, and I'm still dependent on friends and bus drivers to get me from point A to point B. I feel like I'm still a little kid and it drives me crazy. I like the idea of public transportation, but it would be nice to have the option of driving if I'm in a rush, or if I have gear, or if I'm going from one side of Seattle to the other and do not have an hour to kill. Not to mention, how the hell could I tour without a vehicle. I'll let you know on the progress. Right now I don't even have my permit (but that part's easy).

Am I the only grow up non-driver out there? If you don't drive, do you plan on starting soon?

How much is your time worth?

The same question asked by two different men with very different intentions.

Scene A: I am thinking out loud to my father, discussing why I need a car and it's time for me to get my license since I waste so much time riding the bus (because I live in Seattle, and Seattle public transportation is painfully bad) "How much is your time worth?"

Scene B: I am discussing my band branding idea with Mr. B. He's telling me that I should give him some examples so he can give a sense of how valuable a service it is, but says I could probably charge $300 for consultations. My. mouth. dropped. I was thinking $25 a consultation. So he says " Well, just think about it. They are paying for your time as well. You have to ask yourself, how much is your time worth?"

How much is your time worth? Same question, really different connotations attached to it.

As a young adult, it's hard to figure out what your time is worth. On the one hand, I consider my time to be priceless. Each moment is something I will never get to experience again. On the other, I'm 23. I don't have a lot of experience. Then again, I am innovative, creative, flexible, excellent at problem solving, and I'm not stuck in a dogma or ideology which are all very valuable assets.

I think most of my life I've just accepted other people's projections as to what my time is worth, as opposed to making my own standards. Is it because I'm young? Or maybe it's because most of my life I've been told my artistic abilities aren't valuable? It could be argued that being a woman has something to do with it as well?

Do you have a concept of what your time is worth? If so, how do you decide your value?

Is it the coffee?

My thoughts Sunday night: I love my kitty, and my fleace pants, and how warm I am, and delicious food, and Kava tea, and silly romance novels, and how comfy my bed is, and how much fun I had with WP this weekend.

My thoughts Monday morning: God I hate people. Hate hate hate hate hate people. Needy, rude, stupid, insecure, jerk bag people.

Is this normal? I mean I can understand work isn't the same as snuggling in bed with a book,

but is it this bad for everyone?